Wednesday 29 September 2010

Cumi-cumi

Still no pics since someone (no names, no pack drill - begins with 'a', ends in 'a' and rhymes with 'a panda') casually dropped the camera in the rinsing trough without the protection of its underwater housing.

Cumi-cumi (c is pronounced ch) is Cuttlefish. Little old lady arrives with polystyrene box of squid. milked of ink there are 4 squirming about in a dark grey soup pulsating and changing colour as squid do. Amanda selects a reasonably small one and hands it to one of our boatmen, Botak, to remove the bony core - if only we had a budgerigar. Back in the kitchen Amanda stares at it for a few minutes while deciding what to do. Poking it to test if it's still alive, the tentacles sucker themselves to her hand which she immediately withdraws and jumps back in terror. Fair play to her as she steels her nerve and goes in again - this time with more determination. "OK, I think I'll start by removing the skin".  This turns out to be a relatively simple operation except for the fact that the eyes keep looking at her. We now have a nice fillet and some left over squidgy bits (and of course the eyes, which are probably a delicacy - your mum would say they're the best bit).  Amanda, now feeling very pleased with herself, makes 2 piles of white splodge, one for the freezer and one for this evening's gourmet treat. "Fried or boiled?" she asks, the blank expression on my face says it all.


The lumberjack has arrived to deal with 2 trees we have to remove to make way for the extended patio.  Earlier, the boys trimmed the foliage, removed the minor branches and felled the trees so the lumberjack just has to chop them up into useful sized pieces. Please note the extensive use of safety equipment: barefoot, no eye or ear protection, not even a high-vis jacket or safety cones to cordon off the danger area. This photo was taken using a 600mm telephoto lens from miles away and not (as it looks) from a few feet.  Another tree earmarked for removal requires a different lumberjack, this one trained in aerial surgery - you can tell because he is wearing boots.  Most of the upper branches are removed using the one-handed chainsaw method, the incoming mains cable you can see is used to break their fall.  Bits of string are extensively used to tease the rest of the big lumps down onto the boys below.


I have another photo of an Indonesian daredevil/nutter. This one is fiddling with our wireless internet connection (so it'll be three days before I can post this). Note the un-tethered (or guy-less or stay-free or some other tehnical term - help Al) tower which is designed to hold, oh let's say, 10 kilos of antenna and repeater not the 65 kilo muppet who is currently gaily swinging around up there poking a screwdriver in his ear wondering why it isn't working. Is that a safety line I see? no, that's a bit of string for him to lower his screwdriver down with.

These and any subsequent photos courtesy of our land-based camera until such time as we a: cut back on the 'restaurant game' to earn lots more Bok and b: get enough time off to find a decent camera shop or c: a kind-hearted philanthropist sends us a Canon S95 with u/w housing.

Peter D: This is Indonesia, normal algebraic logic does not apply.
Peter H: I'm afraid Hannah can't come to playgroup until she learns to stop biting.

Saturday 11 September 2010

The Restaurant Game

copyright © 2010 RabidGeckoGames (A subsidiary of the broken toilet company).

Overview: You are living in Bali and earn enough money to eat out once or twice a week. The rest of the time your own domestic goddess rustles you up a magnificent evening feast of free-range chicken, rice from the snow fed mountain plains and fresh veggies all on 2 gas rings. Every now and again the goddess needs a break so you have to take her out for a meal. However, the path to harmony is rocky and beleaguered with many pitfalls...

Object: To satisfy your goddess given your meagre earnings.

Players: 1.

Bank: You have a maximum of 250 Bok per week to spend on food. Goddess needs 10 Bok per day on groceries so at the end of 4 days you have 210 Bok in the bank and after 7 days you are down to 180. On the 8th day you get another 250 Bok so the frequency at which you can satisfy DG is variable depending on how much you are willing to spend. In simple terms, Feout = 250-(ein*10/7)

Dunlop ratings: Cost of dinner for 2 people
  • 1 tyre =50 Bok
  • 2 tyre=100 Bok
  • 3 tyre=200 Bok
  • 4 tyre=400 Bok
  • 5 tyre=1000 Bok
So you can either eat out every day for 5 days at a 1 tyre restaurant and fast for 2 days or eat in for 5 days to accumulate enough Bok to eat at a 3 tyre place.

Restaurant politics:
  1. Some do not pay all their taxes and could be shut down at any minute.
  2. Some are run by tyrants who exploit local people - we don't want to support that.
  3. Some covet your DG and will poison you to keep her (anyone seen my anti paranoia tablets?).
  4. Some poach our customers so we boycott them.
  5. Some have an over inflated tyre rating. (tee hee).
  6. Some give us discount - we like these!

Bonuses: A wealthy landowner gives you 200 Bok.

Forfeits: A wealthy landowner expects you to supply wine at 200 Bok a bottle.

Gameplay: Each blank square on the board represents a night in and, if you land on one, costs you 10 Bok. The other squares are restaurants and clearly display their tyre rating. If you land on a restaurant that you can't afford to eat in, then all the other players must look down their noses at you until you cry. Some squares have a special meaning and may be bonuses or forfeits. Throwing a double 6 will get you a free spring roll. Here is 250 Bok, let's get started...