After very nearly 2 years we think the staff have accepted us. Nengah has given us pet names. I am now Ni Luh along with 50% of the female population and Adrian is Wayan right down to the stinky wetsuit.
We have also added a few words of Bahasa Balinese to our smattering of Indonesian. It's the usual start to any language learning. We can say "How are You?", "I'm fine", "That's a nice arse/big tits/big knob?" I've tried Google translate for balls but all I get are recipes.
Dear Holga, does Sula have a sister? Nengah swears her doppelgänger was sitting in our bar only last week, right down to the facial mannerisms - but without the skin-tight leather catsuit.
I know we should get out more but we don't and instead the world and his wife come to us. Our only references are the dim memory of former life in the civilised world - with TV & Radio
If anyone out there wants some material for the next series of the Fast Show or the like, we've got it all here. (note from the editor again, some names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent but if the real McCoys are listening we hope you will forgive us)
Welcome Tim nice-but-dim & Lucy darlings; ex-pat brits living in Hong Kong but Oh My. She would walk to the end of the earth for him and he would protect her from hell's fire but how on earth they have managed to get through life so far is beyond us. "Lucy darling come here you'd love this". "Oh yes, yes (intensely)) it's lovely" or for exactly the same thing "Ooh Lucy darling don't go there you'll be scared "Oh gosh yes that's scary" but the scariest thing of all is they probably run a multi national and there is another little Tim on the way...
Our day to day work requires us to deal with our potential guests through a series of emails until their eventual arrival. We have a saying "5 strikes and you're out" implying if it takes more that 5 exchanges to secure a booking for a 2 night stay and a day's diving there is something wrong with you and we'll suddenly become full & suggest some other nice place for you to stay.
But just sometime we get brave or curious...
Sally Creek and her lovely friends. Far too long since her first stay in Bali and the pit-pat of emails was not the usual idiotic request for me to be a travel agent, more "what can we bring you from blighty that will make your life better?" - cheers to Mr Gordon!! And the curiosity - she created and runs an organic lubricant company...
Chan; in spite of his seriously Asian name lives in Lancashire. Mmm I think, isn't that where cheese comes from? "Dear Chan, Yes, we have reserved you a room and put your name on the diving calendar. You will receive an invoice through PayPal bring cheese to secure the booking" And bless him he did - not exactly Lancashire but a B.O.G.O.F. deal from Tescos with Branston Pickle :)
Mrs Penguin brought us books and pile of Indian spices which are mixing well with the perfected yoghurt recipe. (Note to Peter for Jane, I've found the secret is to strain it).
The stream of guests is endless and we will be sure to share the highlights as they unfold.
1That's another story...
I've told Tania that she should do the decent thing and ask what she can bring you - I hope she's already asked but, if not, I'll tell her about the 5 strikes thing :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm going back to UK in a couple of days so if there's anything you want her to bring from there, let me know before 23rd.
Megga love to you both as always xxx